Hey there!

Sorry it's been a really long time, about 6 months. I have been doing different things with my life. I never did get those photos together for the articuels I was going to post. I guess I just let a guy at work talk me out of it. He questioned why anyone would be interested in seeing, & hearing about old amussement parks?

I'm still not going to college, which really upsets me. What really makes me mad is that I think I'm starting to accept that I'll never go back. I'm planning a vacation in the next couple of years to Europe, Australia, or some place really nice in the U.S. I've even said my next two tax returns were all going towards it. I should be using that money to pay for college classes, not taking trips!

I find myself going Back & forth between feeling really good, and feeling really bad all the time. I really don't know what to do about that?? I think that talking to a theropist would help, but that costsbso much money!!

And finaly, I have been thinking about grandma & grandpa lately. I had a dream a couple of weka ago that grandma came back as a ghost to talk to me. I went to get mom, but when we returned, my grandma was gone. I started crying in the dream, and then I woke up crying my head off. Thankfully mom had went some where, or I would have to explain why I woke up crying. I think I'm a little too old to say it was a scary dream! A couple days before Memorial Day, I went out to the cemitary after work. I was amazed how dark it was there, and how well you could see the stars!! The head stone looked great as usual, grandma did puck out a wonderful one! I just stood there, someone had put flowers on the stone, and in the vases. I was certain it had been family, but no one had called to see if I wanted to put money in on flowers. The flood gates of tears, and emotion just broke down. I stood there, and cried for close to ten minutes. I miss them so much, particularly my grandma!! She helped me so much, particularly in those first couple of years after my parents seperated. I know that not all of what she set in motion for me has come to pass, but she tried to make sure I had money to go to college, even when another close family member stood back & did nothing about it! They will one day regret the desicion that they made, or at least I hope they will.

I will try to write more often, and not wait 6 months next time. Part of it is that my mom is living with me now, and some stuff I just don't like to write when she's around. Not that I don't really want her to know, just some of it might make her feel bad, and I knownit makes me feel really bad. She worries enough that I'm not happy, and I really just don't feel like explaining why I'm crying/in a sad mood.
Again, I'd really like if you read any of my posts, if you would leave a comment. Even if it's just to say, "Hi, I'm reading your blog.". I'd like to knownthat someone is at least taking the time to read my writings.