Well, I haven't gotten the posts I said I would done. I'll come back to them latter, but I'm putting then on the back burner for now. I'm just feeling so confused right now! Life seems to be blowing right past me, and I can't seem to get a word in edge wise. I don't know why everything has to be that way, but it is. I had to work tonight, on Ne Year's Eve. I have now where to go tonight, I'm staying at home with my mom. Sometimes I wonder if outside of my Small circle of friends & family, if anyone even cares? Does anyone even read this blog?? I've asked before for anyone to leave a comment, just to let me know your reading. I've received no comments, so I guess no one is reading.
I just wish I could know that one thing in my life has made a difference! I feel like I'm just taking up space most of the time, and don't contribute much to society. Does anyone else feel this way? I don't know why I even asked that, no one's reading remember? This was not the Christmas I had hoped for from my end of the deal. I had wanted to get my parents nice gifts, since I had spent so much on my grandma the last couple of years, but that didn't happen at all. I got my dad a gift card, and gave my mom a digital point & shoot camera I bought last summer. On my mom's side of the family, we draw names for Christmas. I got my grandfather, like I get every year. All he wanted was a couple packs of razors. I guess I just wasn't in the Christmas mood this year. I've been trying to meet some new friends outside of work, with out much luck. I'm about to give up, I've been trying since February, and only got to meet 4 people, only one of which I speak to on a semi regular basis. Oh well, I guess I'm not a friend type of person????
If it sounds like I'm at a low point in my life, it's because I am! I was starting to get on such a good track, even with the whole work tying to beat me down thing. I can't remember if I posted that or not, short story: I spoke my mind in a letter at work this summer about some problems I thought there were in my department. I have been treated like a third class person ever since by my lead & manager. Now the Store Manager & Operations Manager is coming down on the department for many of the same things I mentioned in my letter. Makes me feel so good at work to be persecuted for being right!! I hate that place any more, and even if they offered me the job I've been trying to get there for the past 5 years, I don't think I'd take it any more. But I think I'm stuck, I've put int application to other places, but no one calls me back. I've only worked tow other places, a grocery store, and for my parents. The grocery store is out of business, so are my parents, and they told me to stop putting them down as a reference!!
Point is I hate where my life is right now, and every time I try to change it, another door blocks my way!!
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